March 2023
In this issue: a whiskey fable, advice for cooking better beets, and the joys of a drunk salad
On my liquor shelf there’s a bottle of Knapogue Castle Irish whiskey. It’s a signature edition bottle: a special barrel release, one of only 216 bottles in existence. I got it as a gift circa late 2018 when I moved into my current apartment. I gave it a nice spot on the shelf and then I left it there.
I didn’t end up opening it until 2022.
This was an occasion whiskey, something to open for a reason. If my life were a movie, I would open this whiskey towards the end, after the climax but before the final scene. When the heroes gather for one last drink before stepping into the mouth of destiny. Or I’d open it in the opening scene, the part that establishes just how good everything is before it all goes to hell in a handbasket.
So, I waited. For four years I waited for an occasion that didn’t come and wrote off every occasion that did come as not good enough. The more I waited for the right moment, the more I felt like I couldn’t open this bottle for any reason at all.
Do special things need special occasions? Logic and my wallet say “yes”. I can’t afford to drink a $200 whiskey every week. Doing so would not just be a full-scale assault on my finances but would also dampen its mystique. But, in a way, it’s an equal disservice to let something so special languish in purgatory on a shelf.
The bottle is open now. It’s a lovely whiskey. The aroma is malty and grainy, but also sweet — almost like plain Cheerios. Like any good Irish, it’s bright and a little fruity but goes down smooth with a pleasant burn. So, yes, it’s a really special whiskey. But could I tell you the “special occasion” that finally got me to open it? Nope, not a clue. I’ve already forgotten.
What’s my point? Maybe it’s that you should take that plunge you’re thinking about taking. Maybe it’s that “special occasion” is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe it’s that Knapoggue Castle is a very good Irish whiskey and if you have some you should probably just get out of your own way and drink some.
Let’s get into it.
Everything, Everywhere, All About: Beets
Beets are one of my favorite ingredients and they’re extremely in season right now. I have been enjoying beets since my youth and I’m ready for them to have their Hot Beet Summer. We should all be staining our fingers with the candy of the earth. Here is a little guide to treating your beets with the love and respect they deserve.
In Defense of: The Drunk Salad
When you think of “drunk food” (i.e. food that people who have been overserved like to eat) what do you think of? Foods with lots of fat and salt to line the stomach — pizza, burgers, fries. Foods that satiate late-night carnal desires — meats, hot sauce.
What if I told you that when I get home from a night out the thing I want more than anything is a salad?
Yes, when I walk in the door after a night out, I open up my fridge and head straight for the romaine lettuce that is a perennial staple of my fridge. If I’m not eating the lettuce straight from the package, I’m probably squeezing some ranch into a bowl and dipping it like it’s a chicken wing.
Stick with me. Think about it. What does a drunk person need? Water. What does a drunk person crave? Texture. What is lettuce? Crunchy water. I rest my case.
An Ask
What are some things you’d like to see in this newsletter? What information will be most helpful to you? Let me know. I take requests on Instagram and in the comments section and (of course) via email replies.